Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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