1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
