The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
