Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
