I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
