hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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