Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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