what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
