Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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