I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
