ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
