Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
