I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
