I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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