the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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