The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
