what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
