Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wear drunk well.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
