I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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