found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
