is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
