I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
wow bdsm is so cute
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
