Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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