his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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