somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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