we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
