you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
