You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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