The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Randomize
