I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
