I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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