Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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