Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
