if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
