Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
