He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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