IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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