Can i not drive my cunt home
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
