Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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