I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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