did you get engaged???
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
