Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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