I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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