Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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