is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
