what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
