Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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