that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had to cum in my sink.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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