WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
