So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
