would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
